xXxDinorawrsxXx

Do you ever get the feeling of just being completely alone? Like, no matter how hard you try to connect with someone you just end up pushing them away in the end. Then comes the time when you need someone to talk to and sure you have a lot of contacts on your phone but as you scroll down there doesn't seem to be one person you hesitate on. Recently this has been me… I am scared of losing the ones I love because… I have never showed anyone the real me, I have never felt that connection until I met H.I.M. There are times when I feel like H.E. too is scared, wants to show me the real H.I.M, but is shutting me off. I know now how it feels and I

I am alone. I am frightened. I feel as though nothing can improve. I am losing interest in everything. I cannot feel. I am not sad. I am not happy. I am pushing everyone away. I refuse to open up. I refuse to have help. I am scared.

In that single moment, Everything was clear. The troubles and anxieties I held, Gone in that intense gaze. My past, present and future, Washed away in the brush of our lips. The world itself dissolved, In the warm touch of your hand. It's like everything at once, With no sense of time or space. It's love.

So I've decided to have a bit of a philosophical week :)... or a couple of days at least! Whenever I write a piece of poetry, part of a monologue or a chapter of a story, I often find myself glancing over what I wrote and thinking actually... this sounds pretty damn rubbish! My writing never really seems perfect or finished which annoys the HELL out of me. I will spend hours writing poetry etc. only to throw it away because actually what I wrote is a complete load of rubbish! But in the end by throwing away this piece of writing, I end up writing something that is actually a million times better. Can anyone see where I am going with this?